Springfield Speaks Contest (Part 1)
Figure of the Day has returned as a contest sponsor to TVFT, and I have to say I couldn’t be happier to bring everybody a chance to win a really great set of GI Joe figures.
The theme of this set is Cobra. Packed with some favorite army builders and a couple of updates to classic characters, I wish I could win this one for myself. The set contains a Hazard Viper, Techno Viper, Cobra Trooper, Snake Eyes and Firefly. What’s not to love?
And how do you win this cornucopia of Cobra?
Glad you asked. If you remember the” Talk to the Skull and Win!” contest, it’s the same idea. Comment on the photo at the top of the page, and you are entered! We enjoyed the comments so much on the Bart Simpson Treehouse picture from the last contest, we wanted to go back to Springfield.
Once a week between February 15th and March 4th, we’ll post a photo to comment on. This one is the first of three. You get one entry per comment per picture. (Comment on all three and you get three entries.) You must use a valid email for us to contact you with. We will pick the winner the week of March 5th. The winner will be picked at random from all valid entries by Mrs. Nerd.
The fine print. At this time Figure of the Day only ships to the US, so the contest is only open to US residents. Also, it is not open to the staff of TVFT or their relatives (Sorry, Mom).
Renegade Trooper: Wow, John’s in bad shape, don’t you think he’s had enough?
Shock Trooper: What, you didn’t hear, he spilled a can of grape soda on the new Weather Doministor console.
RT: Oh crap…
Battle Android Trooper: zzzzt I GREW UP WITH DOMINAzzzztTOR, HE PROBABLY DESzzzzztERVED IT
ST: Yeah so he got his transfer orders: Toxo Viper.
RT: Aw man, the Leaky Suit Brigade? Next round is on me!
“Sometimes I miss the old C-grip. I mean how’s a guy supposed to drink with his trigger finger sticking out like this?”
BAT: MOE’s Bar!
Caller: Is there a ‘flyonfire’ there?
BAT: ‘FlyonFire’? Let me check. Flyonfire, is there a Flyonfire here?
Firefly: Firefly?
BAT: Let me ask the caller. To Caller, did you mean Firefly?
Caller: You should probably put some water on that fire
Robo-Mo! I bet Bart thinks twice about making a prank call to a BAT. Hail Cobra!
Firefly “Hey, has anybody actually ever called ‘Edna’ from the sign above the phone?”
Cobra Trooper “Don’t waste your time, she curses like Shipwreck and smells like a Tauntaun.”
Renegade Cobra Trooper: “and she’s already dating Major Bludd.”
B.A.T. “I should probably take that down.”
I need to free army builders because I’m too cheap to army build.
You think Moe is at Cobra trying to become a Viper?
I need to win this and set up my own Cobra Tavern… with Snake Eyes visiting.
BAT: “Do you want some more?”
Renegade Trooper: “Yeah, so, rumor has it, if you shoot straight instead of up in the air, you’re more likely to hit opposing forces.”
BAT: “Do you want some more?”
Shock Trooper: “Get out… I knew it! I’ve been saying that for YEARS and no one was listening to me! So…wait…now what about trajectory?”
BAT: “Do you want some more?”
Cobra Trooper: (thinking) They issue more than long sleeve shirts now?!?
He was no longer toiling in a Winnebago, hoping to earn money for his family. Threats of gang violence had escalated, but finally ended. The murders that he’d committed were no longer haunting him, which was truly a blessing.
Despite all of this, he looked back at those times fondly now that he’d gotten himself deeper into his strangest situation yet. His life had escalated past the narcotic game as he found himself sitting in the corner of a bar, wearing the uniform of an international terrorist.
Things had gotten really weird for Walter White. His family was just a memory now, as his thirst for power led him into the ranks of Cobra. What else could he do? The Joes were on to Walter and his small empire in New Mexico. Times like these, you’ve got to make strange friends who share your common enemy. But, as he discovered, you don’t work with Cobra. You work FOR Cobra, and Cobra had him cooking blue night and day to fund their latest funky weather machine device, or whichever crazy thing their scheme required that week.
It was rough for Walt. He’d stormed out of his job at the car wash so many years ago because he felt disrespected, and that led him down this dark path. These days, he was being yelled at daily by not one, but TWO completely different mysterious men with chrome faces. It was pretty surreal and he dreamed of the time when he’d wash cars and teach classes without wearing a creepy smelly face wrap all day. Did it matter if his new coworkers saw his face? Were the other terrorists going to call the police or something? Walter needed a drink.
This is the moment where he realized just how detached he’d become from what we’d consider a normal life. Here he was, at the only watering hole in their secret mountain headquarters, actually witnessing two men trade a bag of chips for an invisible shotgun, oblivious to the cold stare of the robotic bartender with the live grenade strapped to his chest.
It wasn’t the grenade that bothered Walter, nor was it the fact that these people seem to view imaginary firearms as legitimate currency. It wasn’t even the deadly drill about to strike the ninja with the suitcase handle on his back. Walt wasn’t sure.
The detail in this instant that destroyed Walters mind was the pants. This robot with no face, no feelings, no attempt to simulate flesh or hide his inner workings was given pants. This robot was never going to know what cold felt like and possessed no reproductive organs to hide. Were they slapping pants on robots and sending them down to the corner store to buy supplies, posing as humans? Night camouflage was out of the question, since every inch of covered metallic parts would surely be offset by those violently yellow boots. What was up with the short sleeves and why carry a sidearm on these pants when your hand can transform into a gun?
The pants really got to him And the worst part, Walter thought?
“Those pointless pants are nicer than mine.”
Walter’s weakened mind finally snapped that instant, as he ripped open his shirt, cast aside his mask and fashioned a monocle from the nearest broken beer bottle. He would have better pants than that lousy robot. Purple pants! And he was never going to be yelled at again.
Walter White died that night. Dr. Mindbender was born.
Well looks like we’ll nurse our wounds with a couple beers and some chips until we have to go back out and fight the Joe’s and get laser burns again.
figure of the day are always awesome!
glad to be part of this contest!
Shock Trooper: WTF? This stuff isn’t beer! It’s gasoline!!! And why is a BAT tending bar anyway???
Bald Cobra Trooper: Yeah! His kind shouldn’t be allowed in here, much less SERVE. We don’t get no respect in this outfit no more!
Renegades Cobra Trooper: I don’t wanna ask where THESE came from. I hear Mindbender has ’em working the cafeteria as well…
Firefly: I was down to my last royalty check from the animated series when John Chu called and gave me a role in “Retaliation.” First rounds on me!
Renegade Cobra Trooper: You know Sommers deleted my scene in the first movie just so he could put in that Brendan Fraser “FAF” cameo?
Cobra Trooper: FAF?
Renegade: “Fake a$$ Flint.”
Firefly & Cobra Trooper: Oh.
B.A.T.: We’re out of Jager. Deal with it.
I hope you told him that a Rusty Nail and a Screaming Orgasm wer the names of drinks before you gave him our order.
Renegade Trooper: Hey, check out Trooper Steve back there… lost his helmet AND his hair in last Saturday’s Cobra Arena of Sport Challenge!
Shock Trooper: Yeah… I can’t believe Crystal Ball hypnotized him and made him think he could beat this old bucket of bolts in a drinking contest!
Shock Trooper: You ever wonder about the financial efficiency of an organization that designs a proprietary warfare android, likely costing millions of dollars in research and development, then relegates it to tending bar at their crazy cult town’s watering hole?
Renegades Goon: Not in the last 5 minutes, no. I mostly just wonder why we ended up with the one that only takes orders in spanish.
Shock Trooper: Seriously, I mean if the design was that faulty, couldn’t they have just sold the leftover models to another group? The practical business applications of it are limitless!
Cobra Trooper: Frank, what I’M wondering is why do so many of you Urban Warfare specialists have business degrees? Is it because they need soldiers that overthink everything when we’re trying to relax and enjoy a beer?
Bumblebee Man: No me gusta! Ay yi yi yi!
Hey bar keep Come here, This stupid Robot you got serving cant even Pour a Tall Frosty without a half of mug of foam, there is more head on my mug then Baldy at the end of the bar….Oh by the way, Is Edna a good time???